BELTS VS SUSPENDERS: A Dialogue

Picture of man wearing suspenders and a bowtie.

Today in addition to writing an article let’s have a hypothetical debate between two men’s accessories and decide which the superior of the two is. Although this might seem a no brainer for most of us we need to give one of these aforementioned accessories a proper chance to defend itself. By the way we are talking about that beautiful stylish creation of mankind which some women refer to as an eye candy i.e. a belt and an eye sore that went extinct faster than the dodo’s on collective suicide sprees i.e. men’s suspenders. I am sorry I digressed a little and let my personal opinion creep into the debate. So here goes:

Man with suspenders
Belt: Well who do we have here? The epitome of ugliness. The one and only suspender. I am pretty sure the human who invented you was super high. That is the only explanation to you being here. The poor fellow must have been pretty ashamed.
Suspender: I am not really sure about your rambling. I am pretty famous. I am stylish and I am the in thing for everyone to see.
Belt: If by stylish you mean making your wearer’s look like dorks then I agree with you. Do you realize that for a brief moment in history you were actually banned from making a public appearance? You were considered an undergarment and showing you was treated as indecency.
Suspender: The ban was overturned and I am advised for people with huge stomachs because apparently someone (cough belts) causes the expansion of the waistline.
Belt: I am a delight to watch, I have multiple designs and I am the clear winner as I do not see any one wearing you nowadays.
Suspender: I used to be the choice for the nobility.
Belt: “Was” is the word we need to focus on. Anyways it’s time for extinction. I hope you stop embarrassing everyone by calling yourself a Fashion accessory.
I am pretty sure that the unusual take on the belt v/s Suspender saga held your attention. Suspenders were merely invented for the task of holding your trousers. It should have retired with Larry King who is the most recognizable face to have ever donned it. We see the emergence of suspenders only when an actor is playing a character from the 1800’s. On the other hand a belt is here to stay. They are shiny and mesmerizing to look, touch and feel.
A suspender was a bad hangover which we thankfully have gotten over with.